Nope, I just have a shrimp fetish.

Roommate #1: What are you eating?

Roommate #2 Shrimp flavored wonton soup. Mmmm.

Roommate #1: Let me see. Ewww! That smells like…like…like VAGINA!

Roommate #2: Well, I like it. (slurps)

Roommate #1: Are you a lesbian?

Yeah, sometimes things are just too much themselves.

Guy: How's your lit class going?

Girl: My lit class is awful! I didn't know there was going to be so much reading!

--Elm and York

It's couture.

I have a juicy butt?....Yeah.

--Battell

It goes with my outfit

I sound bitter and sarcastic, but that’s just my life right now.

--Branford Dining Hall

Pantsless Politics

Drunk Candidate: If you vote for me I'll give you head.
Yalie: Uhhh, I know we're friends but don't you think [boyfriend] will mind?
Drunk Candidate: I don't give a shit about [boyfriend].


Duh. Mexican Mexicans are trashy.

Yale student: But is your Mom a Mexican from Spain?


Say what? Say OUCH!...stop biting!

French guy: Oh! I am black and blue. Black and blue!
Yalie: Yeah, she's in Saybrook.

Why do you think she was crying!?

A girl is crying in the Toad's bathroom and her friend is trying to comfort her.

Friend: Have you ever had a guy cum in your face and then call you a slut? Haha.

--Toad's bathroom

Ummm...you're breaking up. "Click"

Concerned parent: Wait..did you or did not you have sex with Alec Baldwin?

Now we can be twins!

Scruffy guy on phone: Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't believe that you ACTUALLY have syphilis.

--Elm St.


Turns out it does. Seriously.

Student: Excuse me. So...does a slice of swiss cheese have fewer dimensions than a block of swiss cheese?

Isn't that sacriLARIOUS?

Girl on cell: Wait, you're going to be sitting in your synagogue, snorting coke?

--2nd floor of GHeav

Much better than that Officer Krupke.

Drunk boy to police officer: Officer, officer! You're the BEST law enforcement officer since...Robocop!

--Outside SAE


She ruined Jesus' trick

Guy has a plate of dining hall fish
Girl 1: You can't eat that! That fish smells like Zeta Psi!
Girl 2: Eww!
(Girl 1 spits in the fish)
Girl 1: There, now you can't eat it.
Guy with fish: ...

--Dining Hall

And that's the story of the first time I used Plan B.

Girl to group of girls: ...and then his willy went like.. gush.

--JE


And, if you must, we can talk dirty.

Guy to girl: Look, I really like talking to you, but can we have sex already?

--Pierson

The horror!

At a lecture during Bulldog Days...

Professor (himself a Yale alum): I found my eight-year-old son was doing some homework the other night around dinner time. I told him to come to the table, but he said, "No, Daddy - I need to study or else I might have to go to Harvard!"

It's true. We do. (smirk)

Eight-year-old boy to friend: If we go to college do you wanna be roommates? What college do you wanna go to? I wanna go to Yale. Actually, no, I hate Yale. They have naked parties.

--P.S. 3, Hudson St, between Bleecker & Grove


This is from overheardinnewyork.com

Whoo Whooo!!!

2000 hits! Let's keep it going. Send me those conversations!

overheardatyale@gmail.com

I wouldn't be saying this if I were sober, though

A secret society tap is being held up by a fellow Tap

Drunk-er Tap: I AM FAIRLY SHITFACED, BUT HE IS A VERY NICE PERSON.

--Old Campus

The Parmesan Mustard Chicken is THAT good.

Girl: Well it could worse, you could be the girl having an orgasm in the dining hall.

--SY Dining Hall

T Ball-sack!

Two girls walk by a whiffle ball game talking animatedly

Girl 1: (Veers towards game) I wanna PLAY!
Girl 2: DO YOU HAVE A TRAIN OF THOUGHT?
Girl 1: Pass me the ball!

--Saybrook's Stone Courtyard

Well way to show them, trooper!

Big Athlete Guy: Shoooot! I TOLD them not to let me into this place. I TOLD them I was gonna fail outa here."

--Leaving Intro to International Relations

...while trying to do a whippet.

Guy: Wow Jen* are you drunk already?
Girl: Not at all I just missed the chair.

"Pay no attention to that hobo behind the curtain."

Yale Volleyball Coach (to High School recruit): Anything you could want in a campus or city, New Haven's got.

--Au Bon Pain

Thanks to http://ramblingwithoutcause.blogspot.com/

Oh god, the BALEEN! and the SHUFFLEBOARD!!

Guy: You're afraid of whales?
Girl: Yeah, but it's not a whale-specific fear...I'm also afraid of cruise ships.

--Watching Planet Earth on Discovery Channel

I mean with the "books" and everything

High School Girl: Oh my god it's like EUROPE in here!
Mother: I know right?

--SML

And I would guess that they have also been drinking soda with alcohol in it!

Awkward guy to his guyfriend: I bet there's so many people here high on weed.

--Outside SigEp

Happy Party Virus!

Girl: Well at least you don't have to worry about cervical cacer.
Guy: Well yeah but what about...butt cancer?

(Both laugh uncontrollably)

Yeah but STILL!

Guy: That dude in the striped shirt was just staring at you so creepily!
Girl: Um, he's mentally challenged.

--Shaws

Question: Who is her fireman?

Drunk Girl: Ohh! There's a vacuum...there's a vacuum.
Sober Guy: Yes there is.
Drunk Girl: I took so many shots....MY FIREMAN! MY FIREMAN....uh...Oh! (surprised) There's a vacuum!!




--SY Elevator

Really? I was under the impression we were going to Asia

1: So did you hear... we're going to Shanghai this summer.
2: Oh really? I thought we were going to China..



ps - join our facebook group, because then you will be cool! or at least it will be easier for you to post your quotes if you're too lazy to email one of the regular posters.

Unappreciated in his own time.

Guy 1: It's so big. I guarantee that you can't fit it in there!
Guy 2: That's what she said! That's what she said! That's such a good that's what she said!
(Total silence)
Guy 2 shakes his head and leaves the table.

But if they're up here?...

(Girl has something around her neck hanging into her plate)

Guy: Your shirt's in your food.
Girl: That's not my shirt...those are my pants! (Does nothing)
Guy: Umm...well then your pants are in your food.
(Pause)
Girl: (with a shriek)...Who am I?

--Saybrook Dining Hall

And don't tell Mom about the boy I talked to yesterday

Prefrosh girl in purple corduroy: What do you want to do?!
Dwarf prefrosh: I don't know. Maybe we can go to the bookstore!
Purple corduroy: What if it's closed? It's pretty late!
Dwarf: I didn't even think of that! I usually go to the bookstore at like, 1:30 in the afternoon!

- York Street, 10:30pm

I've heard they grow on a bush?

(Coming from a Bulldog Days "bagels and lox" study break at Slifka):

Guy: I want some fucking capers.
Girl: Totally - capers are key.
Guy: What do I have to fuck around here to get some capers on this?

Laugh or cry?

Guy 1: (sincerely) I really like you.
Guy2: Thanks!
Guy1: You're always where the alchohol's at.

--SAE


Laugh. Definitely laugh.

Girl: Let's go out back for ice luge and ciggies! Yeah!

--SAE

Just sodomized.

(Pre-frosh girl smacks skeezy pre-frosh guy)

Guy: What the hell! I've been smacked twice tonight and I haven't even raped anyone yet.

And then let's ride the carousel

Three excited prefrosh running to Commons: LET'S GO SEE THE HARRY POTTER ROOM!!!!

- Woolsey Hall rotunda


p.s. Bulldog Days, the season of hilarious prefrosh, is now upon us. Keep your ears open!

Also, I had a really good poop today

Frat guy: So today I had an Italian BMT, a footlong at Subway, and then I got it toasted, and...
Four friends: ..........

-Elm and High

But God is dead...

Girl 1: Is that Morse Tower?
Boy: No, it's the Tower of Babel.
Girl 2: But it's too short...
Girl 1: God must be here now, with us.
--Bank of America

The Chamber of Secrets, perhaps.

Girl: I can't conceive of having a penis.
Boy: Well, I can't conceive of having a vagina.
Girl: It's more like, I can't conceive of not having one.
Boy: But then, you got this chamber down there....with holes to the external.

--Eating at East Melange


(Special thanks to Ashley!) Email overheard tidbits to overheardatyale@gmail.com

Pâté!

Guy 1: Have you hooked up with that girl yet?
Guy 2: Are you kidding?! I'd rather put my dick in a grinder.

-On the street


But then....I pooped.

Girl: So I felt kind of weird in my stomach all day. I thought that maybe I had bad diarrhea ... turns out I was just horny.

-Saybrook

And my wang was hanging out.

Upset guy: ...and it was really hard to get into talking about it then and there. it just wasn't the right time and place - there were people everywhere, we were both a little drunk, the music was really loud. Oh yeah, plus i was wearing a giant golden robot costume.

Or I'll lock you in the closet again!

Guy: Shut the fuck up Doctor Phil! FUCK!

-Out of a window in Saybrook

At least you didn't go to Harvard

Gayfro: I'll be 25, my metabolism will go to shit, and all I'll have is a Yale degree and a messed-up face.

--Brunch

YDN Headline: "Freshman Commits Seppuku"

Freshman thug to friend: You are the worst ninja EVER!

--Outside Pierson

Hannibal Lecter, PC '62

Scrawny chick#1: I am so hungry right now.
Scrawny chick#2: Small children, beware!

-- Elm St.

Ow! Now my wang is as flaming as the rest of me.

Flamboyantly Gay Guy: SO I got tested in the beginning of the year and I was like, Gonnorhea-YES! Chlamydia-YES! Herpes-NO NO NO! GOD NOT THE HERPES! JUST DON'T TEST FOR THE HERPES!

Do you have a ticket? To the freakshow.

Guy 1: That was great! We even sold a ticket.
Guy 2: Yeah it wasn't bad, I HAVE ANAL LEAKAGE.

My cups runneth over

Guy: Did you turn your shirt inside-out?
High girl: It was....too much.


Kant: The College Years

Gentleman: Dude, ugly pussy is NOT real pussy.
-Zeta Psi

The shrubs are kosher.

An email from a college master regarding the Princeton/Yale afterparty at his house:

"P.S. Please, no booting on the carpet or in the house in general."

Say what?

Guy 1: So why don't you just make up great conversations to help get this blog off the ground?
Guy 2: What? Wait? No! That would be terrible!
Guy 1: Oh. Sorry. Just a suggestion.

Wait...are you pressing charges?

Girl: If you come up behind someone and yell "SURPRISE!" is it still rape?
Boy: It's never been when I do it....

-In the Pierson "Butt".....ironically

And, oh wow, you are so NOT! LOLZ

Girl: You are a very attractive person!
Guy: I know!

Or a doorknob.

Girl: I was so drunk on Friday... we were out of control and ambushed my friend in her room at the Elmhurst.
Guy: Oh! I'm living there next year. What floor is your friend on?
Girl: Second floor first room on the right.
Guy: That's my apartment!
Girl: Oh...you don't have a shower curtain anymore. Sorry.

Happy Pride Week!

Psych Prof: In California there is a huge pro-environment movement and these people all drive huge yellow Hummers! That's hypocrisy!
Weird girl with thick Euro accent: Uv course zat iz because of zee penis pride.
Random guy she was talking to: Uh...

actually, she's from qpac

Walking past the psych department, two stragglers from an admissions tour remark on a sluttily-dressed, big-knockered, tiffany's-bedecked student yapping on her pink motorazr.

Mom to daughter: "See, honey? Two words: psych major."

It's better than jello and percocet

Drunk girl to neighboring table: WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M SO DRUNK? BECAUSE MY WISDOM TEETH ARE COMING IN!

- A1 pizza

Oh, I hadn't noticed.

Guy: Do you need double sided tape?
Girl: No! But you can totally see my nipple!


Didn't the sting ray spine tip you off?

Girl: Last night I was so drunk I could only focus on the area directly around my feet. I looked up and saw this guy staring at me. I looked up again and he was like staring at me and totally gaping. I danced over to him and it turned out that it was a life size cardboard cutout of Steve Erwin the Crocodile Hunter. I grinded with it.


"There's got to be a morning afffterrr!"

Girl 1: Let's go to the bathroom.
Girl 2: To find your dignity?
Guy: I think it's wrapped up in your thong I just found balled up on our futon.

you aren't a minority at yale because you're asian, so it must be something else

Dumb-looking girl, to friend: Yeah, I would make....like......the worst tour guide ever.

...And fancy free!

During a hook up
Girl: Why is it taking so long?
Dude: Well, imagine me during sex.
Girl: But it's...floppy.


Yes. Go get the tongs.

Girl: Well I'm going to go change my pants.
Guy: Do you want some help?

Any way you want it.

Doctor: And what brings you here today?
Girl: I have a big, really painful cyst that I need to get checked out.
Doctor: Where?
Girl: It's sorta...on my butt.
Pause
Doctor: So....uh....How are we gonna do this?

--DUH


Going was a rash decision....Muah!

Student: My mom went to a turkish bath seven years ago. She still has a rash. She's been to a bunch of dermatologists and they can't do anything about it.


And American Idol.

Young Scholar: I hate when people try to make things sound important when they're clearly not...like Native American history.


Actually no. It's for pants and skirts with pleats. Seriously.

(About the permenant press function on the dryer)
Young lady: "If you have a big load...it makes it hotter."

--Old Campus Laundry Room

Lightweight, Indeed...

Drunk Boy: Please, please, please, do NOT hook up with him tonight.
Drunk Girl: Awwwww, why not???
Drunk Boy: 'Cos he's rowing tomorrow morning with me, and after a night with you, he's going to be sore.
Drunk Girl: Huh?
---Outside A1

No more "Durex" for me!

Girl to friend: "Once you go expensive, you never go back"
--Walking down York St.


Send your overheard convos to joseph.babarsky@gmail.com

Just another manic Monday

TYP-y (Pronounced "tippy"). Definition: Typical Yale Party-ish

Drunk couple dance as another guy sits in a chair nearby.
Girl: Go give him a lapdance!
Guy: Uh...oh ..ok....no!
Girl: Fine. I will.
She proceeds.


And then she started facebooking in tounges...

Guy posts note on Facebook about losing a bowtie, a girl comments on it:
awwww your school bowtie!!!!! It's ok! I'll pray that you find it. so how is your faith? are you still feeling close to God? I've been reading a few really awesome books lately that have been keeping up my faith. Have you found fellowship at Yale? I cant tell you how happy it makes me knowing that you know Jesus died for our sins. :) remember that day??? Beth and I got baptized and you came to watch! I cant tell you how much that meant to me. My mom didnt want to come because she wasnt (and isn't) a believer. I'm glad you are apart of that memory. Thank you for always being an awesome friend to me!

I LOVE YOU Ben!
God Bless,
(Redacted)


They probably found Jesus

Butch girl: All my ex-girlfriends end up as guys.
-York in front of ABP

Welcome to Yale

Girl 1: Everytime I see him he seems so sad.
Girl 2: Everytime I see him he seems so HOT!
Girl 1: Well yeah, but also....somewhat...homosexual.


Email your overheard convos to joseph.babarsky@gmail.com