Much better than that Officer Krupke.

Drunk boy to police officer: Officer, officer! You're the BEST law enforcement officer since...Robocop!

--Outside SAE


She ruined Jesus' trick

Guy has a plate of dining hall fish
Girl 1: You can't eat that! That fish smells like Zeta Psi!
Girl 2: Eww!
(Girl 1 spits in the fish)
Girl 1: There, now you can't eat it.
Guy with fish: ...

--Dining Hall