Plus once I found a horse head in my bed.

Girl: Well I wasn't convinced that my family was actually in the Mafia until I finally saw our family seal.
Guy: You guys actually have a family seal?
Girl: Yeah, it shows this hand kind of reaching out to grab something else on the other side of the circle
Guy: Grabbing what?
Girl: A bloody dismembered hand.


--Starbucks

Michael Jackson defies all labels

Girl: Now is that a really gay thing or is that a really black thing?


--Orleton Court

There can NEVER be another.

Homeless Guy: I've had three heart attacks! Another one and I'll be just like Michael Jackson.


--Chapel Street

You couldn't?

Straight Guy: Could you imagine being 44 years-old and never having had a dick inside you?


--The Elmhurst

Just keep them away from sharp objects.

Old Lady: Everyone's playing the handheld game. The PCP game.


--Amtrak Regional

Shut up or I'll scalp you.

Guy: Why do you have the entire Last of the Mohicans soundtrack on your iPod? That's the real question.


--The Elmhurst