But God is dead...

Girl 1: Is that Morse Tower?
Boy: No, it's the Tower of Babel.
Girl 2: But it's too short...
Girl 1: God must be here now, with us.
--Bank of America

The Chamber of Secrets, perhaps.

Girl: I can't conceive of having a penis.
Boy: Well, I can't conceive of having a vagina.
Girl: It's more like, I can't conceive of not having one.
Boy: But then, you got this chamber down there....with holes to the external.

--Eating at East Melange


(Special thanks to Ashley!) Email overheard tidbits to overheardatyale@gmail.com

Pâté!

Guy 1: Have you hooked up with that girl yet?
Guy 2: Are you kidding?! I'd rather put my dick in a grinder.

-On the street


But then....I pooped.

Girl: So I felt kind of weird in my stomach all day. I thought that maybe I had bad diarrhea ... turns out I was just horny.

-Saybrook

And my wang was hanging out.

Upset guy: ...and it was really hard to get into talking about it then and there. it just wasn't the right time and place - there were people everywhere, we were both a little drunk, the music was really loud. Oh yeah, plus i was wearing a giant golden robot costume.

Or I'll lock you in the closet again!

Guy: Shut the fuck up Doctor Phil! FUCK!

-Out of a window in Saybrook

At least you didn't go to Harvard

Gayfro: I'll be 25, my metabolism will go to shit, and all I'll have is a Yale degree and a messed-up face.

--Brunch

YDN Headline: "Freshman Commits Seppuku"

Freshman thug to friend: You are the worst ninja EVER!

--Outside Pierson

Hannibal Lecter, PC '62

Scrawny chick#1: I am so hungry right now.
Scrawny chick#2: Small children, beware!

-- Elm St.

Ow! Now my wang is as flaming as the rest of me.

Flamboyantly Gay Guy: SO I got tested in the beginning of the year and I was like, Gonnorhea-YES! Chlamydia-YES! Herpes-NO NO NO! GOD NOT THE HERPES! JUST DON'T TEST FOR THE HERPES!

Do you have a ticket? To the freakshow.

Guy 1: That was great! We even sold a ticket.
Guy 2: Yeah it wasn't bad, I HAVE ANAL LEAKAGE.

My cups runneth over

Guy: Did you turn your shirt inside-out?
High girl: It was....too much.


Kant: The College Years

Gentleman: Dude, ugly pussy is NOT real pussy.
-Zeta Psi

The shrubs are kosher.

An email from a college master regarding the Princeton/Yale afterparty at his house:

"P.S. Please, no booting on the carpet or in the house in general."

Say what?

Guy 1: So why don't you just make up great conversations to help get this blog off the ground?
Guy 2: What? Wait? No! That would be terrible!
Guy 1: Oh. Sorry. Just a suggestion.

Wait...are you pressing charges?

Girl: If you come up behind someone and yell "SURPRISE!" is it still rape?
Boy: It's never been when I do it....

-In the Pierson "Butt".....ironically

And, oh wow, you are so NOT! LOLZ

Girl: You are a very attractive person!
Guy: I know!

Or a doorknob.

Girl: I was so drunk on Friday... we were out of control and ambushed my friend in her room at the Elmhurst.
Guy: Oh! I'm living there next year. What floor is your friend on?
Girl: Second floor first room on the right.
Guy: That's my apartment!
Girl: Oh...you don't have a shower curtain anymore. Sorry.

Happy Pride Week!

Psych Prof: In California there is a huge pro-environment movement and these people all drive huge yellow Hummers! That's hypocrisy!
Weird girl with thick Euro accent: Uv course zat iz because of zee penis pride.
Random guy she was talking to: Uh...

actually, she's from qpac

Walking past the psych department, two stragglers from an admissions tour remark on a sluttily-dressed, big-knockered, tiffany's-bedecked student yapping on her pink motorazr.

Mom to daughter: "See, honey? Two words: psych major."

It's better than jello and percocet

Drunk girl to neighboring table: WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M SO DRUNK? BECAUSE MY WISDOM TEETH ARE COMING IN!

- A1 pizza

Oh, I hadn't noticed.

Guy: Do you need double sided tape?
Girl: No! But you can totally see my nipple!


Didn't the sting ray spine tip you off?

Girl: Last night I was so drunk I could only focus on the area directly around my feet. I looked up and saw this guy staring at me. I looked up again and he was like staring at me and totally gaping. I danced over to him and it turned out that it was a life size cardboard cutout of Steve Erwin the Crocodile Hunter. I grinded with it.


"There's got to be a morning afffterrr!"

Girl 1: Let's go to the bathroom.
Girl 2: To find your dignity?
Guy: I think it's wrapped up in your thong I just found balled up on our futon.

you aren't a minority at yale because you're asian, so it must be something else

Dumb-looking girl, to friend: Yeah, I would make....like......the worst tour guide ever.

...And fancy free!

During a hook up
Girl: Why is it taking so long?
Dude: Well, imagine me during sex.
Girl: But it's...floppy.


Yes. Go get the tongs.

Girl: Well I'm going to go change my pants.
Guy: Do you want some help?

Any way you want it.

Doctor: And what brings you here today?
Girl: I have a big, really painful cyst that I need to get checked out.
Doctor: Where?
Girl: It's sorta...on my butt.
Pause
Doctor: So....uh....How are we gonna do this?

--DUH


Going was a rash decision....Muah!

Student: My mom went to a turkish bath seven years ago. She still has a rash. She's been to a bunch of dermatologists and they can't do anything about it.


And American Idol.

Young Scholar: I hate when people try to make things sound important when they're clearly not...like Native American history.


Actually no. It's for pants and skirts with pleats. Seriously.

(About the permenant press function on the dryer)
Young lady: "If you have a big load...it makes it hotter."

--Old Campus Laundry Room

Lightweight, Indeed...

Drunk Boy: Please, please, please, do NOT hook up with him tonight.
Drunk Girl: Awwwww, why not???
Drunk Boy: 'Cos he's rowing tomorrow morning with me, and after a night with you, he's going to be sore.
Drunk Girl: Huh?
---Outside A1

No more "Durex" for me!

Girl to friend: "Once you go expensive, you never go back"
--Walking down York St.


Send your overheard convos to joseph.babarsky@gmail.com

Just another manic Monday

TYP-y (Pronounced "tippy"). Definition: Typical Yale Party-ish

Drunk couple dance as another guy sits in a chair nearby.
Girl: Go give him a lapdance!
Guy: Uh...oh ..ok....no!
Girl: Fine. I will.
She proceeds.


And then she started facebooking in tounges...

Guy posts note on Facebook about losing a bowtie, a girl comments on it:
awwww your school bowtie!!!!! It's ok! I'll pray that you find it. so how is your faith? are you still feeling close to God? I've been reading a few really awesome books lately that have been keeping up my faith. Have you found fellowship at Yale? I cant tell you how happy it makes me knowing that you know Jesus died for our sins. :) remember that day??? Beth and I got baptized and you came to watch! I cant tell you how much that meant to me. My mom didnt want to come because she wasnt (and isn't) a believer. I'm glad you are apart of that memory. Thank you for always being an awesome friend to me!

I LOVE YOU Ben!
God Bless,
(Redacted)


They probably found Jesus

Butch girl: All my ex-girlfriends end up as guys.
-York in front of ABP

Welcome to Yale

Girl 1: Everytime I see him he seems so sad.
Girl 2: Everytime I see him he seems so HOT!
Girl 1: Well yeah, but also....somewhat...homosexual.


Email your overheard convos to joseph.babarsky@gmail.com