Well, Harkness is pretty tall...

(Confused looking freshman and family reading a map)

Helpful Yalie: Are you folks looking for something?
Freshman: (intense deer-in-the-headlights look)
Mother: Oh, no thank you, we're not looking for anything.
Father: I'm looking to get rid of my life, that's what I'm looking for!
Mother: (scowl)
Freshman: (even more intense deer-in-the-headlights look)

Cole slaw with that?

At the Stiles Dining Hall:

Boy 1: And so, Colonel Sanders wasn't really a colonel, just a lieutenant colonel.
Girl: But didn't the Beatles write a song about him?
Boy 1: What?
Boy 2: Do you mean Sargent Pepper?
Girl: Oh shit!
Boy 1: (disgusted) and you call yourself a music major...

It'll look like someone's frying an egg!

(Three big ladies talking as they walk by the Women's Table with their kids)

"We'll come back at night and take a picture of you nude, on your back, on top of it!"


--Women's Table

Effie White goes Ivy League

(Sophomore storms out of Toads' back door)
LAlie: I am leaving! Because...Life is unfair to black women!


OaY Dctionary: "LAlie" A Yalie who resides, or grew up, in Los Angeles.

Steve Erwin made that fatal mistake.

Guy 1: Are you scared of albinos?
Guy 2: Yeah, but I always think that they must be more scared of us than we are of them.

--Elmhurst

I call them "Flair"

It's so weird to not see you surrounded by international people speaking other languages and shit.

Like the Yangtze, baby!

(Crazy lady in pink spandex is known as "The Queen of Beverly Hills")

Crazy Lady: What is his heritage!!??
Yalie's Friend: uh...Italian
Crazy Lady: Gorgeous!

Crazy Lady: What is your heritage?
Asian couple: Uh, we're korean.
Crazy Lady: Oh! So is your blood yellow?

--Beverly Blvd, Beverly Hills

Back to Biz-Nass!

Welcome back (or almost back) everyone, and to beloved alums: enjoy the real world. Don't tell us about it. It scares us.

It was a slowish summer here at Overheard at Yale; though, LA was full of crazy ass shit. It's time to send me the wacko conversations you overheard during the summer and the Camp Yale shenanigans that are just beginning. Alums, send us weird words from whatever corner of the planet you inhabit. Get cracka-lackin!

-Joe

Email convos to overheardatyale@gmail.com

"Summers Eve" Wipes to the rescue!

Yalie's drag queen roommate: And I was like "No, I won't fuck you, I'll give you head'...and he was like "come on", and i was like "No, do you fuck before work? well, you must feel really fresh all day."

-Boston, Mass.

Coffee filter goes where?!

Yalie: Oh, hullo.
Larry Flynt: Would you like to have some coffee with me?
Yalie: Oh, sure...do you mean right now?
Larry Flynt: Yes.

--Porno Walk of Fame Dedication, Hosted by Larry Flynt

Yeah, babe, I'm trying to help you out with that....

Friend Girl: Can't we put down the windows and turn off the AC?
Yalie: That makes my hair go crazy. It's too curly.
Friend Girl: Come on! You know what wind does to MY curly bush.

-In a car, in Virginia

Somehow not dropping out of college to live at home makes up for it.

Intern Guy: So you live right next to (Big State School)...you must have been at frat parties every weekend in High School, right?
Yalie: Not really, I didn't really go out until my senior year...and we didn't go to college parties.
Intern Guy: Whoa!? No way...I always thought of you as a "Frank the Tank Guy"
Yalie: (grumbles)
Intern Guy: I don't believe you. You mean you were the type of guy that stayed home on the weekends and did homework?
Yalie: I mean kinda....I got into Yale.
Intern Guys: (sadly) But dude...you can never get those years back.

--LA

What were you thinking after the fifth time?

(Yalie enters holding Jamba Juice)

Intern Guy: Wow...so you, like, "like" Jamba Juice.
Yalie: Uh...yeah. It's a smoothie. And it's cold.
Intern Guy: Wow...I've had Jamba Juice six times...and I threw up afterwards EVERY time.

--LA

Ok, next let's try to count by fifteens

Flower lady: Thirty, forty, fifty...
Guy sitting with Flower Lady: ...Sixty, seventy, eighty...

- Outside ABP, of course

"Harvard...Almost as much fun as abstinence"

Harvard girl on cell: Maybe I'll go to the Harry Potter movie alone tonight. That'll be fun.

- Harvard bookstore

Serves him right.

From comingsoon.net about "Edwin A. Salt"

"The studio's hope is for [Tom] Cruise to play the title character, a CIA officer who is fingered by a defector..."

...In bed

Marketing girl opening fortune cookie.

Girl: Oh I got a good one..."You are talented with your hands."


--Sidney Kimmel Entertainment, LA

...j/k lol!!1!

Explo kid, to friends: Anyway, back to politics.

- Old Campus

...Which I then also ate

Fat New York man: There was a dish called "the suicide dish" and if you ate it, you got a trophy. I got two trophies.


--Royal Palace, Orange St.

Next Year: Cabo...or my ass.

Yale student: What did you do over spring break this year?
Cousin: My nose.
Yale student: Ooooh, riiiight. Look's good!

--Mexican Wedding

My mother was half-bear.

(Yalie puts tampons on the counter)

Middle-eastern Employee: I thought so. I could smell it.


-- LA Licqor-Mart

To MY roomate, Big Marco.

(Yalie's summer roommate manages a restaurant that employs prisoners)

Convict on work furlough: Damn, your roomate is hot. I wish I didn't have to back to prison tonight.

Because it's certainly not a doodle

(this is actually a quote from last summer that i never submitted anywhere, but deserves a post.)

Girl 1, looking at a cookie: Like, what's in a snickerdoodle?
Girl 2: I think it's, like, Snickers.

- Starbucks, Battery Park

And then smoke them

Custodian to friends: People on crack will steal your dirty socks, yes they will!

- Vanderbilt archway

They say the best hookers are self taught, though.

Bumper stickers on a passing car:

"War is not the answer"
...
"Proud Hooker Parent" (and the name of some city school underneath.)

--Walking back from Shaws