I don't know if I'm fierce enough for these undies.

In case there was any doubt that Facebook ads have jumped the shark...

Definitive proof that the internet provides us with WAY too much information.

All my single Yalies! All my single Yalies!

Grad Student Girlfriend: Wait, I want to look at the jewelry.
Grad Student Boyfriend: I'm not buying you a ring.
Yale undergrads walking by: DUMP HIS ASS!!


--Chapel St., in front of jewelry store

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

Gay Guy: I once took a tour of a vagina. It is like looking at confusing modern art. Does nothing for me.

"Skull and Bones" Trailer

Here's the trailer for a pretty ridiculous looking low budget gay/horror film about secret societies at Yale called "Skull and Bones"

Check out the gross and disturbing(ly bad) trailer which features numerous Yale and society locales:

It's so mighty it beat Mothra.

Drunk American Girl: You're from Japan. They use EVERYTHING.
Drunk Japanese Girl: AAAAARGH! Commercialism!


--Boston, MA

Call me the Candy Man!

Old Man: Look at those LEGS. I wanna lick'em like a giant Swedish fish.



--Harvard/Yale Weekend, Boston

Please!

Asian Grad Student (speaking native tongue on cell phone): Nigga nigga nigga. Nigga!

I bet there's a whole can of stupid in there, though.

Yale Girl (about Claire's): They can say it's as vegan as they want but they're still filling it with cream...and butter. Well...I guess not butter.

Now gimme the comics or you're fired.

(Dining Hall Worker covers her face with a newspaper)

Dining Hall Manager: Who are you kidding? You can't read!
Dining Hall Worker: (bursts out laughing)

Is this really dirty or really nonsensical?

Bass Cafe student employee: I just really don't like seafood.
Security guard ordering lobster bisque: Your girlfriend must really not appreciate you.


--Bass cafe

And the award for lowest standards goes to...

Freshman Girl: Look at me, I have to dress up now to go the library cause you never know when you'll run into your next hookup. Cause you know... everybody's here now.


--Bass Library

Gnocci: Classic Italian pasta dish or cutting-edge dirty slang? You be the judge.

Loud Frat Boy (to male friend): That's all I want: I wanna go to Italy, find, like, a girl from some rural village in Italy, and she can come home with me and just lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnocci.
Quiet Blonde Girl: Do you really like gnocci?


--Berekeley Dining Hall

He got a B- on the test but the sheet was A material.

Yalie #1: Where's *Andy?
Yalie #2: I don't know. He's such an idiot. He turned in his cheat-sheet with his exam yesterday.

Too much information.

Yale Guy: Apparently they did a poll asking whether, given the choice, people would give up sex or the internet for the rest of their lives and the vast majority chose giving up sex.
Yale Dad: Well, at least the internet is reliable.

Polite but never demure.

(Couple is waiting for others to leave before exiting plane)
Guy: I told them that you'd be a while so take your time.
Girl: Ok.
Guy (sweetly): But I'll pee on you if you try to push me.


--Charlottesville, VA

Jenny knew she should have worn a push-up bra.

Guy gives girl a drink at Toad's:
Girl, flirting: How do I know you didn't roofie this?
Guy: Oh please, I wouldn't roofie you.
Girl: Wait, you wouldn't roofie me? Wtf?

Probably NOT when I get this message tomorrow morning.

Wasted guy leaves a voicemail for his date, who has long since left him: "...when are you gonna come over and...suck my cock?"


--Yorkside

Law Professor: Different people are alive and dead....


--YLS

It's called "gettin' paid," son!

Undergrad music director: You know how producing is just, like, capitalizing on the art? Without, like, having to have any talent?


--Publick Cup

He DID ask me what conditioner I use.

Gay Guy: So I talked to [professor] and, I mean, he's a professor, but he's so cute...

Straight Girl: Yeah, he's gay but I think I sensed a "connection" between us. It was like, sparks in his office

Gay Guy: ...

Straight Girl: I actually had to close the door just in case he wanted to take things to another level

Gay Guy: ...

Straight Girl: Yeah, it never happened though.

--The Elmhurst

Well why did you clip only one FOOT?

Roommate: Dude, why did you only clip your nails on one hand?
Lax player: I clipped one hand, realized that now I could jerk it without hurting myself, and then after I forgot to clip the other.

Guess which one I'm better at.

Lacrosse Player Roommate: Bro, dude, all I did today was play Halo and grow my hair.

So I followed her home to make me feel better.

Grad Student: As I was walking here, this undergrad girl said to me (falsetto) "Are you in Silliman?" And I wanted to say (deep voice) "That's Mister Silliman to you!" (normal voice) But instead I said "I'm a grad student." Actually, I said, "Sorry, I'm a grad student," which made it sound like I was apologizing.


--Silliman Dining Hall

No! I mean...Yes!

Daughter: Mom, housekeeping knocked a minute ago.
Yale Mom: What?
Daughter: Housekeeping came and knocked.
Yale Mom: What?
Daughter: You need a hearing aid.
Yale Mom: Oh, you heard the maid?


--New Haven Hotel

The rabbi called her out...on both points.

Yale Girl: She came like an hour late... to synagogue. Also, she might be a lesbian.


--Yorkside

Were you trying to read my diary!?

Upright Citizens Brigade

Diary

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Comedians on Tour

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Stand-Up Comedy

They DO have a series of ironic "How To" anorexia books over there, actually.

60-year-old woman: Do you know if they have XL here?
Random Yalie: Uh, I don't know.
60-year-old woman: I don't think they do. Dammit, I have to lose weight...


--Urban Outfitters