Like ya do.

Girl: I don't know what she's doing.
Guy: She's shooting milk out her butt and feeding it to her cat!!


--The Elmhurts

Paris Hilton's claims to fame are getting stretched pretty thin.

Girl: I'm not arrogant, I just have nice nipples.


--The Elmhurst

A Yorkside moment that will go down in HISTORY!

And that's the story behind the EPIC skidmarks.

Boy: Hey, are you ever in bed and then think, "I could use a little more wiping," but then you don't get up to go to the bathroom because you're already in bed?


--Saybrook

Do blood transfusions still work?

Girl 1: We really need to get some AIDS, Kelly,
Girl 2: Yeah we really do, that is what we need to do this semester!
Let's get some AIDS!


--PWG Third Floor Locker Room:

And I want my knob slobbed.

Large, split-toothed townie, after sitting down at the table of an obviously studious (and highly uninterested) Yale girl, setting down his portable CD player with Michael Jackson inside and starting discussion:

I'm not really trying to hit on you... I'm just sayin', most of my friends are guys...an' I jus' don't have too many close friends who are girls...


--Koffee Too/The Publick Cup (of bullshit)

Plus, they have water soluble eyeballs.

Yale Girl: Black people don't swim because they have a heavier body mass.

--York St.

T-Y-P-I-C-A-L Yalie

Horsey Girl (loud): I know my way around Europe so well.
Girl: Yeah, totally.
Horsey Girl: I mean, drop me anywhere in Europe and I would be totally fine.
Girl: Uh-huh.
Horsey Girl: But I don't actually know all the states...we were trying to name them all the other day and I totally couldn't!
Girl: Ha!
Horsey Girl: My Dad wants to buy me an SUV but I really want a station wagon.
Girl: Really?
Horsey Girl: Well, I love those Mercedes hatch-backs and I could just throw all my riding things in the back!
Girl: Oh yeah, totally.


--Post Office Line

We just hit over 20,000 visits!

Thanks guys, let's keep Overheard at Yale going strong!

Send me your overheard/participated in convos at overheardatyale@gmail.com

Happy Monday,
Joe

Wait? California Adventure is THAT awesome!?

Professor: It's like Disneyland with bars and prostitutes.


--Silliman

Coke Whore: The Musical!

Girl: Everything's an option with mucous membranes!


--The Elmhurst

I stole the sign, no joke.

"Child care inside for the 'Terrible-Little' Wedding"


--Sign on Church Door

Mary and Jesus: Now with Down Syndrome!

--Post-Christmas at Marshalls (obviously)

AT&T Works in more places like Funnycleverblog

I hate that ad campaign.

Check out Josh Duboff's (TD '08) entertaining and time-devouring blog at:

http://textmessageinabottle.blogspot.com/

He has Overheards too!

And I DON'T want vomit in my sheets.

Girl, loudly: CAN WE CUDDLE?
Boy: ...I'll get you a glass of water.
Girl: I don't want water, I WANT CUDDLE.

--A1

And whose fault is THAT?!

Guy: This is the worst hookup ever. You questioned my sexuality; you punched me in the face, twice; and then I had erectile disfunction.


--Saybrook

Freud would describe this as "latent bitchiness"

Guy #1: Shut up Gap Pocket-Tee!
Guy #2: I don't even know you?!
Guy #1: Well I know you by your 2-dollars-on-sale Gap Pocket-Tee!


--Viva's

And download some kiddie porn.

College Dean: I just wanna get crunked this weekend.


--Dining Hall

Even better than "Head On"

Well...beggars can't be choosers!

Girl: I would so much rather put that up my butt than my vagina.


--Lynwood

They looked like tiny bird's nests.

Girl: How are your nipples so crazy you have to wax them?!?


--Lynwood

But the dividends were in herpes, turns out.

Gay Guy: I told this guy in Guatemala that I was the fucking American dream and he should give me coke for free and I would fuck him.
Girl: Did that pay off?
Gay guy: Yeah it fucking did!


--Lynwood

I actually thought this until I was, like, nine.

Guy playing Apples to Apples: I just punk'd you guys in the butthole!
Girl: I don't have a butthole. You know that.


--Saybrook

At least he used "which" correctly.

Suitemate: Hey, *Dave, what DVD should we watch?

Drunk Guy: Duh. Whichever one will fit into the DVD player.

It was an accident...I slipped.

(Playing a truth or dare drinking game)

Guy: How often do you masturbate?
Girl: I don't! I've only masturbated once and I was on the phone...with my cousin.


--Lynwood

Small animals and flatulence: a recipe for hilarity

But her last name is Scrape.

Served by a new waitress.

Drunk Girl: She's really pretty.
Drunk Athlete Guy: Yeah she's cute.
Drunk Girl: And her name's BJ. That's gotta be a good sign.


--A1

And then it went....gush.

Talking about pulling a new phone out of a cover.

Girl 1: He's pulling it out slow.
Girl 2: You can pull it out slow but put it in my hand.
Guy: That's what she said.


--Commons

Same thing with Alf.

Girl: ..and what about Jessica Alba?
Guy: Exactly! It's like, "What's your race? I'm hot."


--Cross Campus

Just an "agressive habit"

Guy 1: I went to DUH. They said I was an alcoholic with a drug problem.
Guy 2 (sarcastic): well they were way off.
Guy 1: I know. I don't have a drug problem.


--Lynwood

And very little pigment!

Guy: It would suck to be albino because you couldn't stay out in the sun.
Girl: You'd just have a lot of sex!


--Elm St.

And even then, I was ectopic.

Professor: You're the sophomore! You're supposed to be inconspicuous!
Underclassman: I haven't been inconspicuous since the womb.


-Junior Seminar in Harkness

Exam Question #1: On average, how many Chins are there in a Chinese phonebook?

Guy: The kid actually said that he would bring an "Oriental lens" to the study of statistical analysis.


--Durfee's

Richard Simmons is a Yalie?

Yale Girl: We weren’t sure if he was gay or bi, but it turned out he was just bipolar.

Just wait 'till I'm a porn star!

Mom: So, are we going to help Maggie be brave for her shot?
Eight-Year-Old-Boy: Yeah! Just like *I* was brave when I got the shot!
Sullen teenage girl with withering look: You've never gotten the HPV shot.


--DUH Elevator

Eternal my ASS!

8-year-old boy: Mom, do you know what I like about Hanukkah?
Mom: What?
8-year-old boy: Blowing out the candles.


--Slifka

Your boyfriend would have cleaned his clock!

Girl: Your cousin wouldn't stop hitting on me!
Guy: I told him you had a boyfriend. You kept getting all up on him!
Girl: Yeah, well then I peed on Robert's clock.


--Virginia