And it's YOUR fault I'm lactating to begin with.

Hungover Girl: It's really awkward he keeps crossing the physical boundary. He hugged me like four times before I even got up the stairs...
Gay Friend: You can't say anything about it until he touches your fanny.
Hungover Girl: Oh, so if he sucked my nipples I'd have to stay quiet would I?
Gay Friend: I suck your nipples all the time!
Hungover Girl: But that's different - that's because I'm breastfeeding you.


--Dining Hall