I'll take "the rapists" for $200

Guy 1: Wouldn't it be hilarious if we just beat the shit out of *Zack right now? Just bloodied and broke him for no reason.
Guy 2: Let's rape him!
Girl 1: Yeah!

(Guy 2 and Girl 1 sit on Zack and start poking him, he screams at the top of his lungs while crouching in the fetal position)

Zack's Roommate, busting into the room: What the hell is going on? The last time I heard you scream was when she died.

(awkward silence)

Guy 1: Who died?
Zack: Anna Nicole Smith.
Zack's Roomate: I thought Alex Trebek had died!


--Saybrook