This is a game where everybody loses.

Guy: I think that's another problem with being at Yale. People are even competitive at being socially well-adjusted. It's just terrifying.

The back of my hand is going to be associated with your face in a second.

Girl: They go to Walmart -- I don't wanna be associated with the working class!

Immaculate conception is kinky.

Dr. Ruth: So Mr. Playwright did your play have any sex in it?
Thespian: No, unfortunately...
Dr. Ruth: What!? No sex?!
Thespian: It was a good old-fashioned musical...
Dr. Ruth: What kind of musical doesn't have sex?
Thespian: It was about Jesus!

Guy: I think I've conquered sleep. It's like... I'm the master of the Sleepy Hallows.