Why can't I be Exeter...

Choate/Yale guy: Can I just point out who is at this table right now?" (points) "Choate, Andover, Andover, Groton, Choate aaaaand... public school.
Groton/Yale girl: But I think if he HAD gone to prep school, he'd, like, totally be a St. Paul's boy.
All: Agreed.
Public school/Yale guy: Thanks. (under breath) Fuck you, douchebags.

Jenny's Prince Harry obsession suddenly makes sense.

Yale Girl: Hugo Boss hasn't designed anything attractive since the Nazi uniforms.

Want one?

Yale Alum: Whose horses are these?
Yale Student: I don't know, but I think they're from Newport.
Alum: Oh. I guess they're mine, then.


--Yale-UVA Alumni Polo Match

And then dips them in hummus.

Black Guy #1: Man, he used to get crunk with us on a Saturday like a real man! Now he all vegan and organic and sustainable and shit.
Black Guy #2: Yeah, that's what having a woman does for you. Shrinks your balls.


--Whalley Ave.

Fat like a FOX.

Skinny Townie Guy: You're not fat... you're big-boned.
Townie Woman: NO, I weigh 300 lbs, I'm FAT! (makes raspberry sound)


--Walking to Rudy's

In fact, the professor had be escorted from the building.

Girl: I applied to that college seminar in hip-hop culture by writing, "Ain't nothin' but a g-thang, baby." ...I didn't get in.


--Trumbull