Or maybe it's all of the AMPHETAMINES!!!

Stoner Girl: I feel like my eyes are all chinky.
Stoner Guy: They're not bad.
Stoner Girl: Maybe it's the eye shadow.

--The Couch

True, SigEp is though.

Guy: Do you guys have a bathroom in here?
Girl: (frankly) We go in the road.
Guy: Well I...
Girl: God *Ivan THIS ISN'T EASTERN EUROPE!


--The Elmhurst

I knew there was something about that cat in Homeward Bound

Girl to friend: If a cat is smarter than a dog then that's just...a freak of nature.

- bench near Lawrance

...said Aristotle to Plato

Confused girl: Yeah, but isn't that like...kind of weird?

- an unnamed philosophy course

The REAL Old Campus Risk

Frisbee kid: So what are these flags? Are they land mines?

- Old Campus

Wow, oh yeah def.

In this film, particularly, the camera is between us and the characters.

--Film Seminar

I need to go yard.

Yale girl: How are we going to potty train the puppy?
Yale guy: We'll teach by example.

--Roof with a View

Uh...I don't know how to feel right now. (whimper)

Yalie: So the babysitter just cooked him up something out of the freezer and when his Mom got home she was like, "Holy fuck! You just ate your brother's placenta!"

--Elmhurst

Too bad then,...I was thinking about converting.

Inquisitive American: Are old Japanese people really casual about farting?
Japanese Yalie: NO!

--Rooftop

Ingredient or Food? You decide.

Yalie: I ate two pounds of peanut butter in one sitting. And them I just kept on eating. Straight up!

--Elmhurst

Yep, and you're just a living statue of an idiot.

Girl: You can move statues, right? Aren't trees just living statues?

-- Outside Branford dining hall.

Not the rising price of oil?

Guy: What I'm REALLY worried about is the poop-water in our ceiling.

--The Elmhurst

Moby Dick is all wet...

CCL Staff 1: So...I found someone doing something very naughty to the books in a carrel. Do I report that directly?
CCL Staff 2: Oh yeah.

--CCL

Oh no, that would be innapropriate...

In the Saybrook Dining Hall:

Girl: And so I have to write this sketch comedy thing for my English class - and my topic is a tennis player with Tourette's syndrome.
Boy: Really? That has possibilities...
Girl: Yeah, I know! But really, how many times can I have him shout "your mother sucks cocks and burns in hell?"
Boy: Your English professor may not like that approach...

My fugly lady lumps!

Drunk: Why was someone saying that your nipples are wack?
Drunker: My nipples ARE wack!

--The Lynwood

Correction: Communism is NEVER good.

Giddy Professor: Can anyone think why the Navy might have been interested in deep sea magnetic field strength mapping in the fifties and sixties?
Girl Student: (quietly) Communism.
Giddy Professor: What's that?
Girl Student: (whisper) Communism.
Giddy Professor: Submarines?!
Girl Student: (sternly) Communism.
Giddy Professor: Oh...well that's good too.

--Davies Auditorium

Well, Harkness is pretty tall...

(Confused looking freshman and family reading a map)

Helpful Yalie: Are you folks looking for something?
Freshman: (intense deer-in-the-headlights look)
Mother: Oh, no thank you, we're not looking for anything.
Father: I'm looking to get rid of my life, that's what I'm looking for!
Mother: (scowl)
Freshman: (even more intense deer-in-the-headlights look)

Cole slaw with that?

At the Stiles Dining Hall:

Boy 1: And so, Colonel Sanders wasn't really a colonel, just a lieutenant colonel.
Girl: But didn't the Beatles write a song about him?
Boy 1: What?
Boy 2: Do you mean Sargent Pepper?
Girl: Oh shit!
Boy 1: (disgusted) and you call yourself a music major...

It'll look like someone's frying an egg!

(Three big ladies talking as they walk by the Women's Table with their kids)

"We'll come back at night and take a picture of you nude, on your back, on top of it!"


--Women's Table

Effie White goes Ivy League

(Sophomore storms out of Toads' back door)
LAlie: I am leaving! Because...Life is unfair to black women!


OaY Dctionary: "LAlie" A Yalie who resides, or grew up, in Los Angeles.

Steve Erwin made that fatal mistake.

Guy 1: Are you scared of albinos?
Guy 2: Yeah, but I always think that they must be more scared of us than we are of them.

--Elmhurst

I call them "Flair"

It's so weird to not see you surrounded by international people speaking other languages and shit.