I feel like that situation is self-perpetuating.

Girl: Why don't we have any black friends?

--Elm St.

Yeah, but I'm usually sleeping.

Boyfriend: *Cough*
Girlfriend: See, that's why I'm sick. You don't cover your mouth!
Boyfriend: Lauren*, I do a lot more than that to you.

--Elm St.

And sometimes it talks back to me...

Girl Yalie: Whoa! My butt is so big! Sometimes, I just see it and I'm like "Oh my God, it's huge."

--SY

I don't WANT you to know that!

Girl: I want you to fart so I can smell what the inside of you smells like.

-Yale

Oh, if only...

Yale girl: Your Axe can suck my dick!

--Elm St.

Like when the British smoke...poles.

Yalie 1: Why don't you sleep in his room?
Yalie 2: It smells bad.
Gayalie: What? Like his smell or like cologne?
Yalie 2: He uses something fruity...It smells like fag.

--Apt

At least...not since the operation.

Girl: Well, all I can say is when I'm walking down the street I don't feel MY clitoris banging around between my legs.

--Antropology Seminar

...then he immidiately crashed his car.

Asian man: Excuse me. I have question.
Yalie: Yeah.
Asian Man: Where is the baa? The baa? How get to the baa?
Yalie: To BAR? Is it called "BAR"
Asian man: The baa!
Yalie: Um, it's on Crown. Take a right and then a left on Crown.
Asian man: On Clown?....I take a light?


--Elm St.

Just like you and your latex paint fetish.

Girl 1: Incest in porn is great...it's hot...but when I think about my brothers I feel like I'm gonna puke.
Girl 2: ...
Girl 1: I don't search for it! It just comes up sometimes when I look for normal porn.

--Off-Campus B-day Party

Or maybe it's all of the AMPHETAMINES!!!

Stoner Girl: I feel like my eyes are all chinky.
Stoner Guy: They're not bad.
Stoner Girl: Maybe it's the eye shadow.

--The Couch

True, SigEp is though.

Guy: Do you guys have a bathroom in here?
Girl: (frankly) We go in the road.
Guy: Well I...
Girl: God *Ivan THIS ISN'T EASTERN EUROPE!


--The Elmhurst

I knew there was something about that cat in Homeward Bound

Girl to friend: If a cat is smarter than a dog then that's just...a freak of nature.

- bench near Lawrance

...said Aristotle to Plato

Confused girl: Yeah, but isn't that like...kind of weird?

- an unnamed philosophy course

The REAL Old Campus Risk

Frisbee kid: So what are these flags? Are they land mines?

- Old Campus

Wow, oh yeah def.

In this film, particularly, the camera is between us and the characters.

--Film Seminar

I need to go yard.

Yale girl: How are we going to potty train the puppy?
Yale guy: We'll teach by example.

--Roof with a View

Uh...I don't know how to feel right now. (whimper)

Yalie: So the babysitter just cooked him up something out of the freezer and when his Mom got home she was like, "Holy fuck! You just ate your brother's placenta!"

--Elmhurst

Too bad then,...I was thinking about converting.

Inquisitive American: Are old Japanese people really casual about farting?
Japanese Yalie: NO!

--Rooftop

Ingredient or Food? You decide.

Yalie: I ate two pounds of peanut butter in one sitting. And them I just kept on eating. Straight up!

--Elmhurst

Yep, and you're just a living statue of an idiot.

Girl: You can move statues, right? Aren't trees just living statues?

-- Outside Branford dining hall.

Not the rising price of oil?

Guy: What I'm REALLY worried about is the poop-water in our ceiling.

--The Elmhurst

Moby Dick is all wet...

CCL Staff 1: So...I found someone doing something very naughty to the books in a carrel. Do I report that directly?
CCL Staff 2: Oh yeah.

--CCL

Oh no, that would be innapropriate...

In the Saybrook Dining Hall:

Girl: And so I have to write this sketch comedy thing for my English class - and my topic is a tennis player with Tourette's syndrome.
Boy: Really? That has possibilities...
Girl: Yeah, I know! But really, how many times can I have him shout "your mother sucks cocks and burns in hell?"
Boy: Your English professor may not like that approach...

My fugly lady lumps!

Drunk: Why was someone saying that your nipples are wack?
Drunker: My nipples ARE wack!

--The Lynwood

Correction: Communism is NEVER good.

Giddy Professor: Can anyone think why the Navy might have been interested in deep sea magnetic field strength mapping in the fifties and sixties?
Girl Student: (quietly) Communism.
Giddy Professor: What's that?
Girl Student: (whisper) Communism.
Giddy Professor: Submarines?!
Girl Student: (sternly) Communism.
Giddy Professor: Oh...well that's good too.

--Davies Auditorium